Crashing pt 4: taking the red pill
I‘ve been crashing for a quarter of a year. It’s incredibly debilitating and simultaneously it is connecting.
Yes, I’m still on the floor but there’s surprising power and insight here into our collective dilemmas.
Our interconnected selves and universe
We need to reveal the creative psychological, ethical and spiritual work that climate change is doing for us—Mike Hulme
Heart
I’ve been startled so often through life. Startled that we justify dangerous, entirely human created, persistent, toxic and bio accumulative chemicals being produced and polluting all life. Startled our modern day world story—profit and competition will solve our crises—is so sticky with me despite the fact that I reject it as inadequate. Startled we continue to create opportunities for flourishing and restoration. In doing so we are drawing from and creating positive pathways laid decades in the past.
You-I-we don’t have to go so big to be startled.
I’m startled I don’t crave croissant. Less flippantly that I cry so much and so little for our global condition and mine, especially on those days I’m unable to do anything. We’re creating and growing from this. And I realize this is super paradoxical. How can there be silver linings in such things?
Head
Diving into my and our global conditions is compelling for me. I’m so far an outlier on my reaction to the vax the out-there stuff becomes more important. And, I am not alone. Others experience and struggle with multiple strange health and other conditions. One of the silver linings I can see in this is that lying on the floor leaves me with time to meander on logic paths. Put that together with some very incredible theories around vaccination and you—we can go a few more layers below the allopathic analysis above.
One in fifty billion—red pill
To explain further:
- The first two paras below touches on earthly connected power conspiracies. They are out there and pretty ludicrous. Nevertheless, they are useful for the element of truth that will be at the roots of these.
- The next paras move to the mystical. That is easier for me to write with other-worldly focus but substitute spiritual in for potentially similar logic.
Hara—earthly connected power
You’ll know there are all sorts of conspiracy theories around this vax. For me they are a problem as they are obscuring some of the huge, actual and important ‘conspiracies’. For example, Edward Snowden calls out mass surveillance as a deliberately pursued strategy. Put together the pieces of that from private cell companies to government citizen data storage, all largely legal and legislated for, and you have a collusion of interests that means there is a record of everyone’s location, updated as we move, for at least the last decade, That’s a granular location for each of us, across time, if we have a cell phone.
Bizarrely, things like Bill Gates wanting to control individuals, through implants in the vax, get more prominence than Snowden’s grounded example.
Hara-mystical
Consequently, most vax conspiracies seem unbelievable to me. However, I do feel my body and emotional reactions are like I am trying to rid myself of a poison—this started with the shot. I also know there are some wild ideas/conspiracies around postulating off planet intervention.
As a result, let’s allow that the vax could be adulterated from non-human being sources and in a paradigmatically different manner to slipping someone a Micky Finn.
For the purposes of this bit I’m holding that other worldly stuff exists—be that goddesses, Gaia, galactic interconnected kosmos beings, entangled universal intelligences with agency etc. This is not necessarily in the corporal or more organised religious ways we comprehend such things.
The issue I have with other worldly or mystical agent(s) is why?
Why on earth would some sort of spiritual or mystical existences care to ‘poison’ humans? There’s an easy way to do this mental ethics experiment with extra-terrestrials. Do it and poison is just not credible. Any existences that wanted to bring evil intent on other species would have self-annhilated. The level of physical power that must exist for such things to intervene on Earth means existences’ ethics must be constructed for expansive wellbeing. Such things could not live if they were not interested in overarching wellbeing, a pinnacle guiding principle—by definition they’re/it’s incredibly powerful. If such things haven’t worked out wellbeing is primary above all else they could not exist anymore thanks to that power (self destruct).
At least that’s a line of logic from my ethical-power paradigms. Obviously, there are transcending cross-paradigmatical ways of looking at this.
But, I’ve a reason why whatever mystical/spiritual/not-of-this-world entities would be interested or motivated for ‘adulterating’ a shot. In saying that I’d like to acknowledge that motivation is a hard notion. This has to be in whatever sense such mystical things could construct it. Said thing is not an old white man, with a long beard, sitting on a cloud.
So I’m wondering about what could drive our the action and the root of a motivation could be that said things are trying to get us to bridge our divides: divide between man and nature, between humans and gaia, between ourselves and coherent inclusive entangled felt valuing (i.e. prioritising and integrating a lot more than objective logic). Said things see that shift as our essential step. If we can’t do it we extinguish our race (and many more sentient life form extinctions with it). I.e. Bad. Consequently, said things are trying to help us change that.
Just to close that loop with what I am experiencing: One of the strongest pieces of my symptoms, e.g. especially during the momentary blackouts, is vividly being in other places-worlds, stepping out of this one. Then returning but never again to the same person, existence I was, and carrying the vibrations, and more, of those interconnected entanglements.
So there you-I-we go. Motive!
I’m smiling and laughing. It should be ridiculous but mystical-Gaia-extraterrrestrial-otherworldy-universalkosmo-spiritual intervention is now, at least, wildly improbably plausible.
Ouch!
Thoughts, from you’re crazy delusional Simon to all potentially connected healing pieces, more than welcome.
Head, heart and hara takeouts
While one in fifty billion is a little tongue in cheek, with our meta-crises we are at the extremes. Wild interventions from deities or otherworldly agents may just be conceivable at those odds. Regardless, collective memory, intuition and power, a felt sense of how our minds, hearts and guts integrate for flourishing action is called for.
I’ve been living in experiences of crazy connection—it feels like being closely linked with multiple living collectives and often more than ‘in my body’. We all get that we are not separate from nature, not just individuals without community cares and influenced by our peers and global values. Feeling that too, and acting from the power derived from our heart and haras, is part of our next meta, our thriving worlds meta.
with love,
Simon.
27 June 2021
Postscript: my quarter of a year—felt sense experiences
My gift, if you-I want to look at it like this, is on a daily basis I experience:
- Time bending
- Floating, spinning
- I crash
- I get the chills
- I sit and strip all my cloths off getting too hot
- Porous boundaries: my sense of self goes well beyond the limits of my skin.
- Talking, reading and writing (to a laser extent) I hit limits. I can’t extract from the conversation gracefully, I push towards a possible crash boundary and I can feel it.
- To manage while typing and thinking, I’ve written this set of four posts in little 30 minutes stints over the last 2 months.
Index:
Crashing: into head, heart and hara. A quarter of a year that’s been debilitating and connecting
Part 1 Into head, heart and hara connections here>
Part 2 Western medical logic here>
Part 3 Causal chains and silver linings here>
Part 4 Taking the red pill (this page) here>
Pdf full article, Crashing: into head, heart and hara. A quarter of a year that’s been debilitating and connecting here>
These four posts are a follow on from the first set, one month into my crash, post vax. See: Immunity: dissolving a clot between ourselves and the world here>
Resources
Links and posts
This set of four posts is a follow on from Immunity: dissolving a clot between ourselves and the world here>
Mike Hulme’s quote is from his book Why we disagree about climate change. Book> Article here>
For more images, videos and articles on wellbeing and change see:
- Envision: A wellbeing economy in the USA here>
- We’re connected: why what we do matters so much here>
- Lights, camera, simplicity: short videos cutting through complexity here>
- Attractors: Strangely we keep getting pulled in here>
- Infinite potential: Antony Gormley and places of transformation here>
- Surfing simultaneous states: Beauty, fear, joy and despair here>
A visual index of articles about shifts is here>
Photos: Festina Lentívaldi, (be) Benevolution. Reuse: Creative Commons BY-NC 3.0 US
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