Crashing pt 3: causal chains and silver linings
I‘ve been crashing for a quarter of a year. It’s incredibly debilitating and simultaneously it is connecting.
Yes, I’m still on the floor but there’s surprising power and insight here into our collective dilemmas.
Going past one in fifty billion
More research on our global crises? We already know what to do and there’s power and beauty that flows from integrating this with action.
Heart and Hara
A causal chain is somewhat encouraging and this too is not a cause. There are only theories so far as to why vax causes such clots. Or why we seize. Or if these are connected to our other neuro concentrated centres—heart and gut (head, heart, hara). Analysis suggests our thinking centres (cortex) start miscommunicating with control centres (hippocampus).
Suggests might be underplaying it a little. I’m not sure, it is so super hard to read most things as a result of these symptoms that I am living with. Regardless, it does not really matter.
That’s kind of the point. Just as with inequality is not good for our wellbeing (measures like GDP are degereneratively correlated with disparity) acting as if I do have the impact from a thrombosis and consequential seizures is powerful. This does not need total clarity or cast iron double blinded evidence (is there even such a thing for complex nuanced conditions?) in order to take positive recovery steps.
The parallels with our environment are massive. We know, for example, that reversing global warming will deliver vast species and human benefits, as well as warming our hearts. Regenerative agriculture, silvopasture, multiple education opportunities for global women? All of this works for nurturing beauty, drawing carbon—directly and indirectly—out of our world and encouraging economic equity. For example see Project Drawdown here>
For myself there’s at least some indication that a Keto diet may support our hippocampus’ activity. There is really nothing to lose by pursuing this diet for me and the fact I’ve not even craved a croissant in 30 days (I’m off to the gorgeous artisanal bakery by the sea this morning and won’t even want one) demonstrates net benefit easily overrides cravings.
That feels powerful. And I did not come to this place from an extensive research based analysis. I would have done far more but, alongside diet, I’m partly learning how to read again (that seems to be associated with the possible thrombosis). I could not do deep research. The small amount I covered resonated. We don’t need more deep research on our global crises for action and similarly, I’ve nothing to lose from acting.
To push that analogy a little further—the connection between my health conditions and our global ones—we have researched and can demonstrate the multiple beneficial outcomes that will flow from addressing global crises. The inequality example above is one of many. Yet, that research is failing to catalyse shifts at anything like the desirable rate.
Consequently this is a call to integrate our hearts and haras, individually and collectively, into that action mix.
But…
Heart
I so want to do the reading and exploring to reach into current analysis.
But I can’t do the research and what’s in a condition name? Does it help? It does a little to be able to take action on the assumption I was hit with a CVST, lost a bit of brain function related to language-reading and body balance and I am concurrently dealing with seizures. The uncertainty and my inadequate research does not prevent taking action—diet, trying to build things back up gradually, being as aware as I can of impending crashes (a messy and uncertain endeavour full of difficult surprises), practicing by reading out loud (hard but bizarrely easier than simply reading) and slow (half speed or less for me) forays into the back-country.
Similarly, do our global labels and the copious research that sits alongside these—climate change, racism, colonization, neoliberal economics, primacy of profit—assist us with recovery? That modern day sticky ideal, surely there’s a neat explanation for all of this, plays in me despite knowing it is inadequate. It does so even as raging rivulet torrents of endorphin-adrenaline type rushes radiate from my stomach, taking me swooping and spinning like I am on-around-above-outside the bed, room and world, and leave me awake most of the night.
Awake at 2 am or pretty incapacitated on the floor at noon there is, fortunately perhaps, plenty of space for connecting further. That’s one of the bizzare silver linings of this. My self boundaries are porus. Sensations extend far beyond my skin and the geographies around me. Am I, are you-I-we and our world-universe, learning something here? Co-teaching each other? I am a little afraid to write it but yes, I really am suggesting that wildly spinning, CVST and seizures, if those are appropriate labels, have upsides. Extend that to the collective on a global scale. Alongside all the pain and suffering connected with our pandemic, climate change and inequity what happens when we ask what is this doing for us?
![3a](http://be-benevolution.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/3a.jpg)
Index:
Crashing: into head, heart and hara. A quarter of a year that’s been debilitating and connecting
Part 1 Into head, heart and hara connections here>
Part 2 Western medical logic here>
Part 3 Causal chains and silver linings (this page) here>
Part 4 Taking the red pill here>
Pdf full article, Crashing: into head, heart and hara. A quarter of a year that’s been debilitating and connecting here>
These four posts are a follow on from the first set, one month into my crash, post vax. See: Immunity: dissolving a clot between ourselves and the world here>
Resources
Links and posts
This set of four posts is a follow on from Immunity: dissolving a clot between ourselves and the world here>
Mike Hulme’s quote is from his book Why we disagree about climate change. Book> Article here>
For more images, videos and articles on wellbeing and change see:
- Envision: A wellbeing economy in the USA here>
- We’re connected: why what we do matters so much here>
- Lights, camera, simplicity: short videos cutting through complexity here>
- Attractors: Strangely we keep getting pulled in here>
- Infinite potential: Antony Gormley and places of transformation here>
- Surfing simultaneous states: Beauty, fear, joy and despair here>
A visual index of articles about shifts is here>
Photos: Festina Lentívaldi, (be) Benevolution. Reuse: Creative Commons BY-NC 3.0 US
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